




explorations without & within
There is a sort of narrative created by a photograph. It begins with the unique perspective of the photographer and that photographer’s interaction with his/her subject matter (the subjects chosen, and how they are portrayed). It is set in the historical and even the “factual” moment by the medium used (a photograph taken with a certain kind of film, printed on a certain kind of paper). And the narrative is continued—or completed—in the “life” of the photograph after it has been processed.
Take this photograph, for example, which I found at the site of a homeless camp that had recently been bulldozed. Even without this information, there are several things that might be assumed about the “story” of this photograph, beginning with the portrayal of the subject itself (or himself): photographed from below, he towers over us, shirtless, tattooed, young but intimidating. Is he a gang member? The photograph is a Polaroid. Was it taken in prison? Beyond the image itself, two main things present themselves. The first is the writing on the front and back of the image. “To my Angel + 3 Boys: I think of All 4 of you every second of every day! ♥ Always DADDY,” with a similar message on the back. The second is the dirt residue on both sides of the image. The text serves to soften our impression of the photograph’s subject, and also expands the “story” of the photograph, makes it sadder. Where is this man, I ask, that he can’t be with his children? The dirt (whether or not the viewer knows about the homeless camp) furthers this saddening effect, because it shows that the photograph was left behind, neglected, and this neglect further threatens in the viewer’s mind the relationship between the subject and his “Angel + 3 Boys.”
Besides writing and dirt, there are other things that can be done to the surface of a photograph which change our perception of it, change its story. Puncture holes may indicate that an image was prized enough to be tacked to a bulletin board or cubicle wall. Creases can indicate either neglect or constant use. Was the photograph left on the floor, carried in a wallet, folded and put in a pocket? All these actions have physical effects on the photograph which tell part of a story.
When two girls I know were young, their mother married a pedophile. I don’t know much of what happened while their mother was married to him, but I do know that after she divorced him these girls cut him out of every one of the pictures he was in. In The Golden Bough, Sir James George Frazer describes what he calls “homeopathic magic”:
“Perhaps the most familiar application of the principle that like produces like is the attempt which has been made by many peoples in many ages to injure or destroy an enemy by injuring or destroying an image of him, in the belief that, just as the image suffers, so does the man, and that when it perishes he must die. A few instances out of many may be given to prove at once the wide diffusion of the practice over the world and its remarkable persistence through the ages” (28).
I doubt those young girls were consciously wishing the death of their stepfather when they cut him out of their pictures, but you never know. At the very least, I think they were attempting to symbolically cut him out of their memories. It speaks much for the power we invest in the photographic image.
Another example of this that comes to mind has to do with a discussion I had once with the man at the photo lab. He was working on a project for a funeral; a young man had died, and the family didn’t have any photographs of him with his two children. This man's job was to use a photograph of the dead man with another family member to create two new photographs (in Photoshop) of the man with his two children. He said this was a fairly common assignment, but it seemed so strange to me. It was as if this family was trying to create a past that didn’t exist, a past in which the dead man had been present in his children’s lives, and it seemed to be implicit that by creating a photograph in which it was so, it would be so.
It was all these factors that go into the creation of the found vernacular image, as well as the language of the vernacular image itself, that I attempted to syncretize in order to create my own “fictional” vernacular images. In order to achieve this, I did several things. I began by switching from the 4x5 camera I had been shooting with, to a green plastic 35mm that I found in the closet of the house I was renting. Then, attempting to quash my years of photographic training, I set out to emulate the style of photography I saw in the vernacular photography I had been studying and thinking about. After this, I scanned the negatives, and in Photoshop edited them so that their dimensions, borders, and colors mimicked those of the vintage images I’d found. (It should be noted that two of the images I used were photographs I’d taken when I was about ten. In hindsight, this was inconsistent with the process of the other images, and it would have been better if I’d simply taken new photographs, imitating my ten-year-old aesthetic.) Once I’d edited the images in Photoshop, I printed them, worked the surfaces of the images with pen, soiling, defacement and wear, scanned them again, and reprinted them large, creating new images with a sort of “story.”
What I was doing, self-consciously taking photographs that reference the photograph and the act of photographing, and doing so in a way that is intentionally un-artistic, has been referred to by many as “deskilling.” In the essay “Remembering and Forgetting Conceptual Art,” Alex Klein discusses Jeff Wall’s essay “‘Marks of Indifference’: Aspects of Photography in, or as, Conceptual Art,” in which he described the effects of Conceptual Art on contemporary photographic practice:
“In Wall’s account, the modernist concerns of self-reflexivity and medium specificity are ultimately realized in conceptual artists’ deskilling and amateurization of the photograph. For conceptual artists, photographic depiction is detached from representation and thus points to what Wall calls the “experience of experience.” In this account, conceptual artists’ images are consciously employed and constructed as the antithesis of the highly skilled modernist photograph.”
For William Jenkins, curator of the 1975 exhibition New Topographics, the photographs in that exhibition (by artists such as Lewis Baltz, Robert Adams, Stephen Shore, and Bernd and Hilla Becher) “were characterized by their banality and lack of style” (Klein), a description that it seems could be aptly applied to my “vernacular” images as well. In the exhibition catalogue, he acknowledges that some of the artists in the exhibition were likely influenced by “Ed Ruscha’s deadpan photographs” (ibid.), but states that the chief difference between Ruscha’s conceptual work and that of the New Topographics artists “is the difference between what a photograph is ‘about’ versus what it is ‘of’” (ibid.).
This leads me to a question: “In my images, is it more important what they are about, or what they’re of?” And I think that the answer is that that yes, like Ruscha’s work, it is more important what they’re about, it’s about the process and the aesthetic, the act of photographing and the language of the vernacular, not so much the specific subject matter of the photographs. And I think I’ll have to leave it there for now.
I’ve always thought I could fly.
Less now at age six, but still sometimes
in dreams, when nobody’s looking. So
when Father began working with wax and feathers and thread,
building wings, disembodied, like those of birds,
I saw nothing in them of flying, nothing in them of
me. In my dreams I
fly with my arms, I fly by my strength,
I fly because I am special.
I have no need of these awkward feathered toys
like too-large shoes, lashed
to my arms by Father’s trembling, calloused hands as
with half an ear I listen to his cautious words.
Father is sweating on his forehead,
in his armpits. He shows me how to flap
these wings, he is taking too long.
At last I move my arms, my
sandals kiss grey stones and rough grass
goodbye. Flying is not as easy as I had imagined,
but I learn quickly. Father looks like a wasp buzzing
straight and slow; I am a swallow.
On the beach below, a girl is collecting stones.
Her back is to me, and when she turns,
the stones fall from her hand.
I swoop.
I laugh into her open mouth.
The shore becomes small, and smaller still, a white
scalloped line dividing brown from blue.
I put it behind me. The wind on the sea is cold
and strong, but I am stronger. I climb, then
dive, a thousand swallows beating
in my stomach as I fall, calming when
I spread my wings and right myself. Still Father
plumbs his line, a wasp never faltering between sea
and cloud. Follow me, he said, but I ignore
him now. Clouds are like fine mist against my cheeks,
enveloping white, cool as dawn.
Still I climb. I must be higher now even
than
like a world being born. Everything here is clear, bright,
still. Below me clouds are my own
pillowed bed, broad as the horizon. I
dive into them straight and fast, wings by my sides, head
thrown back, and the clouds swallow me, burning
the insides of my nose like the sea.
I climb. I am brave as any warrior, braver
than Father, higher now than Zeus himself.
I climb. I feel I will never tire. I am swallow,
I am wind, I am cloud, I am sun.
I climb. Nothing now can stop me. Men will speak of me
around campfires at night.
Now feathers begin falling from me one by
one. As they circle
downward, fringed with light, I know
I’m becoming everything I
was meant to be, that soon I will shed these wings,
I will fly with my arms,
I will fly
by my strength.
I find I am screaming my father’s name.
In my stomach
a thousand swallows rage,
I beat my arms but find
no purchase,
I fall.
-g.
The myth of Daedalus and Icarus has always resonated with me. I actually did believe I could fly when I was a child, before I learned to separate dreams from waking. It was something I could only do when no one was watching, my secret gift. I think I've always been afraid that if I were to become all I dream of becoming, if I were to fly, I would outgrow the ones I love and be forced to leave them behind. I would be alone. I know this isn't true, not exactly. Yet see these hobbles? I tie them on myself.
Human weights pose for photographers as they stand in a line in order of their weight at a Gymbox gym in London January 21, 2009. A British gym is trying to add human interest to otherwise dreary workouts by replacing traditional dumbbell weights with human ones.The Gymbox chain gym in central London says fitness enthusiasts can now swap their usual lumps of metal for human beings in a range of shapes and sizes.
REUTERS/Stephen Hird
"I came to Renfrew after a suicide attempt over two pieces of pizza. That was obviously not the whole reason why I tried to kill myself. That was just kind of the straw that broke the camel’s back.
Dieting has always been a huge part of my life. I remember all the things that are symptoms of eating disorders being taught by my family: to cut my food into really small pieces, and chew very slowly and take your time, and always drink water in between so that your stomach fills up faster. I was counting calories and counting fat by the time I was 11.
I had diet pills packed in my lunch when I was in elementary school. When I was 10 years old, my mother and aunt paid me $100 each to lose 10 pounds. I always thought I was fat. It wasn’t until recently when I pulled out an old photo album that I was like, Oh my gosh. I really wasn’t fat. I’ve had a distorted view of myself pretty much most of my life.
I remember being a kid and not having an eating disorder, but I don’t remember a time ever in my life when food and dieting weren’t an issue. It was always low-fat this, low-fat that. At the pool, you had a Popsicle instead of a candy bar because the Popsicle had less fat. The message was, when you’re thin, you’re prettier. You’ll get boyfriends faster. You’ll get married faster."